reallylameblog:

paradisaic:

wethatkindoforc:

So my cat is sleeping between my legs and then this happened and I laughed so hard he woke up.

that’s a potato

Your cat looks like an uncooked chicken

art-rebellion:

onlyblackgirl:

meohellokitty:

onlyblackgirl:

shinygays:

lady gaga’s dog is wearing my college tuition around her neck

image

Watch that dog get robbed real quick.

…can you rob an animal?

If i see it on the street we gone find out. 

image

*boom*

mom: what was that?

me: my shirt fell

mom: it sounded a lot heavier than that...

me: i was in it

kaloriesblog:

okay so a friend and i decided to carry a mattress, 4 blankets, 3 pillows and a bag of alcohol to a cliff, we were drunk and high. all we wanted to do was spend time together and then we fell asleep and i woke up to this.

kaloriesblog:

okay so a friend and i decided to carry a mattress, 4 blankets, 3 pillows and a bag of alcohol to a cliff, we were drunk and high. all we wanted to do was spend time together and then we fell asleep and i woke up to this.

(Source: 3-sum)

Anonymous asked
What's the most illegal thing you ever did?

almanzapedia:

At Stanford there was this Professor who was a total bitch and she taught British Literature, which was cool. Except she taught only her opinions of the books and it didn’t help me as a writer. I went to school to learn new things to improve my craft, not have someone else’s opinions carved onto my forehead.

So anyway, for our final project, she asked us to write a ten page paper on why the color symbolism in Othello was so significant. I did some research and it turned out that she did her entire graduate thesis on this very subject. I was mad. This wasn’t teaching, this was boosting her ego. SO I wrote a ten page essay on why color symbolism in Othello wasn’t significant, satirizing it to the point of no return, saying that her opinion was an opinion and shouldn’t be taken seriously.

SHe failed me, needless to say. So in retaliation, I responded by baking a batch of brownies laced with weed and laxatives and delivered them myself to the professor hours before her big graduation speech. I told her that it was a peace offering, my way of apologizing and asking if I could do anything to fix my grade.

She refused to fix my grade.

In the end, she shit herself on stage.

I didn’t regret it.

timtampon:

timtampon:

I was talking to my friend on the phone and then she almost got run over and i was obviously really concerned so i asked her if she was okay and after a moment she replied “there is a Jesus in the sky” in a really matter-of-fact sort of way
so obviously I thought something was seriously wrong butimage

omg please don’t bring this back
People are converting because of this post and I’m actually Jewish oh god I fucked up

methhomework:

that friend that always tries to please you